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Sunday, February 10, 2019 - Better Husbands and Better Wives


Pastor Roger Marcos
February 10, 2019


A few years ago a Russian newspaper reported a light-hearted poll of 100 Soviet households. In 90 of the homes, the wife described herself as the head of the family--and the husband agreed. In nine families the husband said he was boss, but the wife disagreed. The only husband whose wife named him as head of the family was told by the newspaper that he had won an award. When asked to select his prize, he turned to his wife and asked: “What shall I choose, Maria?


Husbands, Do You Want A Better Wife?.. Then be a better husband. LOVE YOUR WIFE.

Wives, Do You Want A Better Husband?.. Then be a better wife. “be submissive to your own husbands.

Ephesians 5:22-33 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

“Husbands, love your wives” Ephesians 5:25

Behind the simple command is a lifetime effort, a lifetime of growth. How is a husband to love his wife? What is the kind of love that he owes her? I am tracking here with Richard Phillips as he explains in his new commentary on Ephesians.

The Marks of A Great Husbands. Is an absolute, unfailing commitment to his wife. ..A husband cannot bless his wife more than by loving her as a gift from God.

A. A Self-Sacrificing Love. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Every husband knows that he is called to love his wife to such a degree that he would willing to die for her. Paul statement, “Husbands, love your wives.” It sounds like such a simple statement, but what does he mean?

What Does It Mean to Love?- loving your wife meant sacrificing yourself and your desires to make her happy. It’s true that true love involves kindness and sacrifice, but it doesn’t stop there.

Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” From this example of Christ- LOVE YOUR WIFE SACRIFICIALLY... HUSBANDS.

When we think of Christ’s sacrifice for the church we immediately think about the cross. He died for us. If that is our example, how do we apply that? I doubt if any of us will ever be called to literally die for our wives, so how do we sacrifice?

The love here in Ephesians is a type of love that is necessary in marriage relationships. Without it, couples may end up only being room-mates who run a house together. In my opinion, love is not real unless it is also sacrificial. This is the kind of love that

Christ had for us and is the love he wants us to extend to others, especially our spouse. As Paul said in Ephesians 5:1-2, we are to "be imitators.and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." What does sacrifice look like?

B. A Redeeming Love. A husband’s love is, like Christ’s love, redeeming. Christ “gave himself up for [the church], that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”

“If we follow this progression we see the Christian gospel in terms of Christ’s preparation of a bride for himself.” Christ is actively sanctifying his people through the word to cleanse us from sin and make us holy. Paul now says that a husband is to see this as his model for the way he relates to his bride. “As Christ’s love redeems us for glory, a husband’s love ought to be directed toward the spiritual growth of his wife. Loving husbands are to remind their wives of God’s love and minister for their blessing and increased spiritual maturity

A Caring Love. A husband’s love is also a caring love. “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.” A man’s care for his wife should be as careful and intimate as his care for his own body.

Paul offers two key words to describe this: nourish and cherish. A husband cares for his wife by nourishing her heart much like a gardener nourishes his plants. “This requires him to pay attention to her, to talk with her in order to know what her hopes and fears are, what dreams she has for the future, where she feels vulnerable or ugly, and what makes her anxious or gives her joy.” A husband cherishes his wife “in the way he spends time with her and speaks about her, so that she feels safe and loved in his presence.” Phillips offers this warning: “In my experience, a husband’s caring love is one of the greatest needs in most marriages. A wife’s heart is dried up by a husband who pays her little attention, takes no interest in her emotional life, and does not connect with her heart.”

“Marriage involves forsaking all others in favor of an exclusive, intimate, and indivisible bond. Christian husband offers his wife the security of a committed love, in which she can blossom emotionally and spiritually.” A husband commits to his wife to the exclusion of all others.

“This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.” When we see this intimate connection between marriage and the gospel, we understand that “There is nothing more profound in all this world than the sacred bond of marriage, and no more solemn duty than those owed by a wife to her husband and a husband to his wife.” So husband, do you love your wife? In what ways do you need to love her better, to love her just like Christ loves his church?

II. Mark of A great Wives.

A Better Wives.

A good wife listens to her husband. She won't always agree with him, but she'll listen in just the same way she wants her husband to listen to her. ... A good wife tells her husband that she loves and appreciates him every single day.

1 Pet. 3:1-7 1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

A. Priority Demonstrate Spirituality. Verse 1Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands. “Eph. 5:22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.

In-fact submission in marriage is a sign of Strength. It requires a great degree of personal strength of character. Submission in marriage is a spirit of respect a wife has toward her husband. It is an attitude intended to help her and her husband to live a contented, peaceful life together.

When a wife submits she is being a helper to her husband in the broad, biblical sense of that word. That is what God was referring to in Genesis 2:18, “.God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Husbands, Do You Want... A Better Wife?. THEN BE A BETTER HUSBAND.

Wives, Do You Want A Better Husbands?. THEN BE A BETTER WIFE.

God bless,

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