NORTH YORK CHURCH OF CHRIST

Pastor Roger Marcos
June 24, 2018

Text: Luke 15:11-32

Today I’m going to speak one of the most difficult issues that a family sometimes has to face which involve being hurt and have a broken heart.

This message today is for those of you that have raised your kids in the Christian faith but for whatever reason, they have chosen to walk away. Parents, SO HURTING,

Why do kids of godly parents go astray? I don't know the answer to that question; I think there are probably many. As we look at a passage of scripture that shows not why they go wrong but what to do when your kids rebel.

¹¹ Jesus went on to say, “There was once a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to him, ‘Father, give me my share of the property now.’ So the man divided his property between his two sons. ¹³ After a few days the younger son sold his part of the property and left home with the money. He went to a country far away, where he wasted his money in reckless living. ¹⁴ He spent everything he had. Then a severe famine spread over that country, and he was left without a thing. ¹⁵ So he went to work for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him out to his farm to take care of the pigs. ¹⁶ He wished he could fill himself with the bean pods the pigs ate, but no one gave him anything to eat. ¹⁷ At last he came to his senses and said, ‘All my father's hired workers have more than they can eat, and here I am about to starve! ¹⁸ I will get up and go to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against God and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer fit to be called your son; treat me as one of your hired workers.”’ ²⁰ So he got up and started back to his father.

“He was still a long way from home when his father saw him; his heart was filled with pity, and he ran, threw his arms around his son, and kissed him. ²¹ ‘Father,’ the son said, ‘I have sinned against God and against you. I am no longer fit to be called your son.’ ²² But the father called to his servants. ‘Hurry!’ he said. ‘Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet. ²³ Then go and get the prize calf and kill it, and let us celebrate with a feast! ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead, but now he is alive; he was lost, but now he has been found.’ And so the feasting began.

Prop. There are three stages in a typical child's rebellion and we see all three of them in the story of the prodigal son.

I. STAGE ONE: REBELLION. In every parent-child relationship there is a power struggle. From day one the issue is Who's in control?

When they are first born, the parent is 100% in control but as they grow, the control shifts to the child - Kids want control quicker than parents want to give it.

A. Confrontation. 12"Father I want my share of your estate Now. In my entire life I never hear yet that to anyone. This young man it might be at the age of 16-19 years old. He wanted to live by his own because farm life look like no future..actually HE DOESN’T LIKE THE FATHER TO BE INVOLVE..that mentality leads to Rebellion.

In verse 13 "A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and took a trip to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money on wild living.” - Luke 15:13 ¹³ After a few days the younger son sold his part of the property and left home with the money. He went to a country far away, where he wasted his money in reckless living. GNT

So he was happy carrying his luggage: He's having a great time doing all the things he always wanted to do - and the whole time Mom and Dad’s hearts are breaking.

MY QUESTION THEN What Do You Do? when your kid is old enough, you can't control him/her anymore and they just say "I'm splitting! I'm going to do my own thing! I'm going to leave!"

> You Let Them Go.

The Bible says, "He took a trip to a distant land."

If you notice the father didn't chase him - He released him why because a stubborn and rebellious son determine to leave.

> You Let Them Make Their Own Mistakes. The bible says, there he wasted all his money on wild living."

At first everything is great - It's party time - He tries everything that was forbidden at home.

He throws out his parents' value system and totally rejects his background. He’s wasting his life away.

Do you think his father knew he was going to waste that money? Without a doubt! - Do you think he knew his son was headed for trouble? Undoubtedly!

• Do you think he was tempted to send letters of advice to his son? Yes he was!
• But the father realized that there are some things we only learn through pain.

The son is stubborn

He's going to have to go through the school of hard knocks. - It's risky - but it's the only way this kid is going to learn.

Every time that we take responsibility for our kids, we take it away from them.

We have got to let them make their own mistakes instead of stepping in for them and trying to make things better for them all the time.

> You Let Them Reap The Consequences. There is always a price tag for rebellion.

About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him to feed his pigs. The boy became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.” - Luke 15:14-16

He's hit the bottom - Hard times - The party's over - He's broke and friendless.

• Empty pockets, empty life, empty stomach.

How do you think his parents felt? They probably felt sorry: "My kid's suffering. I can't watch him do this. He's hurting himself."

They probably felt embarrassed - You can't get any lower than feeding slop to pigs if you're a kosher Jew.

It was like a knife in their heart-"Why is my kid doing this?" "Where did we go wrong?"

• The fact is all of us make mistakes as parents but you are not the only influence in your children's life.
• Wake up to the fact that your kids make choices - They have friends you don't control, books you don't control, teachers you don't control.
  It's not fair to take all the blame yourself - It's not all your fault.
• If they make a choice, and hit bottom, then they need to reap that choice.

That's how we learn-Because the father did not intervene, they went to stage two.

• Wake up to the fact that your kids make choices - They have friends you don't control, books you don't control, teachers you don't control.
• It's not fair to take all the blame yourself - It's not all your fault.
• We take a lot of false guilt on our lives.
• We need to understand that parental responsibility ends the same place that a parent's control ends.
• If your kids have moved out you're no longer responsible.
• But the great temptation when our kids hit bottom is to intervene, bail them out, send a care package, fly out to see them, send money.
• But this father knew that nature had a way of disciplining our kids that we will never be able to discipline them.
• Don't short circuit the natural consequences of the choices your children make.
• If they make a choice, and hit bottom, then they need to reap that choice.
• That's how we learn-Because the father did not intervene, they went to stage two.

II. STAGE TWO: RE-EVALUATION and REGRET.

"When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, `At home even the hired men have food enough to spare, and here I am, dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, "Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired man." - Luke 15:17-19

Notice the change in attitude? When he’s leaving he says, "Give me" as he comes back he says, "take me."

A difference in attitude - His attitude is now one of submission.

• He goes through a stage of re-evaluation - He begins to wise up and face the facts.

"What am I doing? I've made a mess of my life. I'm here slopping pigs. I've lost all my money, all my food, all my friends, everything!"

He woke up to the fact that his life was a mess.

You know what I’ve discovered? It’s this - We never change until we get desperate.

Some of your kids are not desperate yet - They're going to have to hit bottom first. - But others might be right where this kid was at and at the point of turning it around.

What Do You Do?

• Pray- Pray for your kids - Pray and pray and never stop praying.
• Commit Them To God.
• Wait Patiently

Wait and wait...and sometimes wait and wait some more.

You pray, you commit, and you wait.

Because this father [who in the story represents God, the perfect father] did it right, they came to Stage Three.

III. STAGE THREE: RETURN.

How you handle the return of your child is absolutely crucial.

- "So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long distance away, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.” - Luke 15:20

Remember this is the ideal father and he did three things and these are the same three things you need to do when your child wises up.

What Do You Do?

> Love Them Faithfully.

When his father saw him he was filled with love and compassion.

No matter how far they fall, no matter how long you wait, the door is left open for reconciliation - You love them faithfully -It is a stubborn love that will not give up.

You don't bail them out in advance because they won't learn the lesson if you bail them out in advance - You let them reap the consequences

Realize that for some kids the only way they're going to learn is to face the consequences of their own decision.

> Accept Them Unconditionally.

“.he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”

This is a moving picture of acceptance - Open arms.

He didn't wait for his son to get all the way back home.

When your child knows he/she is accepted unconditionally, it makes it so much easier for them to admit it when they are wrong, because they know they are already accepted.

When your child knows he/she is accepted unconditionally, it makes it so much easier for them to admit it when they are wrong, because they know they are already accepted.

- Notice the son’s confession: “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.” Luke 15:21

He had practiced it.

> Forgive Them Completely.

• If and when they come home you forgive them completely.
• "But his father said to the servants, `Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger, and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening in the pen. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.' So the party began.” Luke 15:22-24

Conclusion:

This story really shouldn’t be called the story of the prodigal son, because he's not the hero-It should be called the story of the loving father-The father is the hero here - This story represents exactly how God deals with your rebellion and my rebellion.

When we come to God He does just the same as this father did.

He gives us a second chance - He takes our lives and remolds them and refashions them and makes something beautiful out of a total mess.

The story has a happy ending - The son came back home - The father did everything right.

In his grief, he watched him hurt himself, he watched him make mistakes and reap the results - He prayed and waited and committed.

Some of you have those pre-adolescent kids in your home and you're starting to see the first signs of that rebellion and it scares you to death.

Some of you have kids right now that are breaking your heart and maybe they've rejected everything that you hold dear.